Well...here comes the post that I really didn't want to have to write...
Right after my last post, I stood up, exhausted from walking all night, but fully intending to walk to Baltimore.
Then something in my stomach gave. I ran to the bathroom.
I'll spare you the gory details, but it became clear that my body was dangerously dehydrated; my body in particular requires large amounts of water to keep things working the way they should, or things get really, really bad. After I staggered out of the bathroom, the Best Western hotel manager watched me go with suspicion, since it was obvious I wasn't staying there but had been hanging around a long time. I step out into the morning air and it was already cold. My body screeched in protest, begging for sunlight. I ran into a McDonald's and sat by the window (by the way, I take back many of the nasty things I've said about fast food restaurants, because, however atrocious their food may be, they always let me use their bathroom and refill my water bottle and sit there, free of charge).
So I go into Mcdonald's and I contemplate the long 6 month walk ahead, the walk that my body is clearly not strong enough to make.
I think about the dire warnings from my friends about the sketchy timing of my trip, that it will be even colder once I get to the MidWest--I shiver at the thought (no pun intended).
I think about all the love that came forth from my friends and my love for them, and my realization, after my trip to Israel, that sacred sites are not nearly as sacred as people.
And I realized there is a vast difference between where I am in my physical life and where the original Peace Pilgrim was in hers.
I realized that I was ready for three days of walking, three days of talking about peace, three days of connecting wtih God, three days of sleeping outside in the freezing cold.
I realized that I am ready for 6 months of talking about peace, and 6 months of connecting with God.
I realized that I am not ready for 6 months of walking and 6 months of sleeping outside in the freezing cold.
I realized that I had no I.D., no money, no way of getting back home.
I realized that my only hope of salvation, that can I see, is the hotel manager of the Best Western in Denton, Maryland, a man who believes I just tried to rip him off.
I realized that I was about to be taught a colossal lesson in humility.
I threw a line up to my spirit guides and asked them what they thought. They said they didn't care what decision I made, that the most important thing is that I remember who I am when I make those decisions.
That would be Lesson #1. Lesson #2 involved me pretty much weeping in front of the Best Western hotel manager, trying to convince him that I was totally at his mercy, that I hadn't just tried to rob his hotel (that took some convincing) and to please not get the night manager fired for letting me in. He...and this guy was a true saint...gave me the hotel phone, allowed me to call my friend, my cousin and my mom.
Long story short, my brief stint as a peace pilgrim has been postponed. Part of me, the ego part, feels that I owe you all an apology for letting you down. But that would be ridiculous, because this wasn't expected of me from you at all. This I chose this for myself. And I thank you all for SUPPORTING me with such love.
I don't regret doing this, even though I couldn't see it through. The last three days have been extremely challenging, a exercise in meditation, patience, faith and resourcefulness.
I have no idea what my future will be now. I didn't leave much of my past behind, so it's hard to see where I will go. But I do know that spring is a better time to start a journey like this than September. That gives me half a year to discern my Father's will, half a year to get stronger...
...half a year to maybe try again.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Day #4 - Headed to Baltimore
I want to thank everybody who wrote me such kind, wonderful and supportive emails.
The last 3 days have been challenging, perhaps the most challenging of my life. I've experienced joy and fear, in both their extremes. It helps to know that you guys are with me.
I'm in a Best Western in Denton, Maryland (didn't stay there, but the concierge was kind enough to let me crash on their couch, eat their complimentary breakfast and use the computer). I want to write so much more, but time is limited...
Thanks to everybody who I met who gave me food. I am convinced God sent you, because when I received your food, I was close to what felt like starvation. The spirits that I walked with kept telling me that support was coming soon, to be patient. And they were right each time.
First night I spent sleeping outside of a Catholic church. Talked to a few people, dealt with insane levels of fear but got through it.
Second night was a little better--I walked into Georgetown, Delaware, warmed up on their university campus, met some wonderfully kind folks along the way, got an invitation to stay at a place once I hit Pittsburg and slept in a baseball dugout, wrapped in fake grass that smelled really funny.
It's already getting extremely cold...I'm getting nervous re: the following months.
Last night was rough. I passed the state line into Maryland, walked most of the night. It was freezing. I got stopped by the police as I walking along the highway. I didn't have ID, so I looked a little shady. I explained to him what I was doing, and he seemed to understand, though he looked and talked to me as if I'd taken leave of my senses (fair argument, of course). Ran a background check on my real name, decided I was harmless, and let me go.
I stumbled into the Best Western to escape the cold, met the kindnest concierge I've ever known who let me sleep, eat and write to you all.
I cannot do this without God. That is my mantra. I cannot do this without God.
I hope you all are well. Sorry this was so brief. I have to hit the road soon.
I love you all,
Peace Pilgrim
The last 3 days have been challenging, perhaps the most challenging of my life. I've experienced joy and fear, in both their extremes. It helps to know that you guys are with me.
I'm in a Best Western in Denton, Maryland (didn't stay there, but the concierge was kind enough to let me crash on their couch, eat their complimentary breakfast and use the computer). I want to write so much more, but time is limited...
Thanks to everybody who I met who gave me food. I am convinced God sent you, because when I received your food, I was close to what felt like starvation. The spirits that I walked with kept telling me that support was coming soon, to be patient. And they were right each time.
First night I spent sleeping outside of a Catholic church. Talked to a few people, dealt with insane levels of fear but got through it.
Second night was a little better--I walked into Georgetown, Delaware, warmed up on their university campus, met some wonderfully kind folks along the way, got an invitation to stay at a place once I hit Pittsburg and slept in a baseball dugout, wrapped in fake grass that smelled really funny.
It's already getting extremely cold...I'm getting nervous re: the following months.
Last night was rough. I passed the state line into Maryland, walked most of the night. It was freezing. I got stopped by the police as I walking along the highway. I didn't have ID, so I looked a little shady. I explained to him what I was doing, and he seemed to understand, though he looked and talked to me as if I'd taken leave of my senses (fair argument, of course). Ran a background check on my real name, decided I was harmless, and let me go.
I stumbled into the Best Western to escape the cold, met the kindnest concierge I've ever known who let me sleep, eat and write to you all.
I cannot do this without God. That is my mantra. I cannot do this without God.
I hope you all are well. Sorry this was so brief. I have to hit the road soon.
I love you all,
Peace Pilgrim
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Almost forgot: my itinerary
Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, California. There. :) Take care.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Until the next computer
I'm laying my computer to rest before I head out, so this will be the last post until I come across another one. I don't know when that will be.
Take care. Be kind to one another. Eat lots of good food. Get plenty of exercise. Smile at someone. Do something that scares you. Forgive someone that your holding a grudge against. Forgive yourself, most of all.
Talk to you soon.
On Courage
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
~Ambrose Redmoon
or better yet...
"Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway."
-John Wayne
~Ambrose Redmoon
or better yet...
"Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway."
-John Wayne
The Way of the Tao
There is a Force, a great power that drives the universe. It is responsible for all that we see, and all that we experience. It is the Ultimate Reality upon which everything in existence rests. Men and women have called it God, Yahweh, Allah, Yehovah, the Tao, the One, the All, Brahman, Olodumare...the names are many.
Yet it is not so important what we call as it is that we remember that this Force loves us and lives within us. It is the light that enlightens all who come into the world, once they've opened their hearts and minds to its gentle voice. It does not beg, it does not cajole, intimidate or threaten. It merely waits patiently to be heard. And when we do open ourselves to it, it flows into us with the joy of the father who welcomes home the prodigal son.
Any discussion of peace, whether it be between nations or the warring parts of the self, must include a discussion of God, because it is in God that peace has its foundation. Peace is the natural harmony within the self that occurs when one is given over to the Divine.
Man-made laws may dictate peaceful behavior, but they are a temporary solution at best, because they depend on the threat of violence (imprisonment, taxation, or execution) in order to be effective. As long as the State relies on tactics of fear to create peace among its citizens, it will continue to teach its citizens that peace and fear are inseparable. And its citizens will use those same tactics in dealing with one another.
From the Tao Te Ching:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He shall direct your path." ---- Psalm 3:5
Yet it is not so important what we call as it is that we remember that this Force loves us and lives within us. It is the light that enlightens all who come into the world, once they've opened their hearts and minds to its gentle voice. It does not beg, it does not cajole, intimidate or threaten. It merely waits patiently to be heard. And when we do open ourselves to it, it flows into us with the joy of the father who welcomes home the prodigal son.
Any discussion of peace, whether it be between nations or the warring parts of the self, must include a discussion of God, because it is in God that peace has its foundation. Peace is the natural harmony within the self that occurs when one is given over to the Divine.
Man-made laws may dictate peaceful behavior, but they are a temporary solution at best, because they depend on the threat of violence (imprisonment, taxation, or execution) in order to be effective. As long as the State relies on tactics of fear to create peace among its citizens, it will continue to teach its citizens that peace and fear are inseparable. And its citizens will use those same tactics in dealing with one another.
From the Tao Te Ching:
"The more prohibitions there are,
the poorer everyone will be.
The more weapons are used,
the greater the chaos will be in society.
The more that people seek "knowledge" for its own sake,
the stranger the world will become.
The more laws that are made,
the greater the number of criminals."
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He shall direct your path." ---- Psalm 3:5
In Dover
I'm in Dover, Delaware right now. My pilgrimage will begin officially tomorrow when I leave from Cape Henlopen State Park, Delaware, which resides next to the Atlantic Ocean. I'm putting together a final rough draft of my itinerary, which I shall post when I'm finished, which will hopefuly be later in the day.
Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of meeting with a former Peace Pilgrim (http://pilgrimforpeace.wordpress.com/) back in New York City. We talked about some of the details of her journey and what I should expect on this one. Definitely check out her blog if you get a chance. She's an awesome woman.
Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of meeting with a former Peace Pilgrim (http://pilgrimforpeace.wordpress.com/) back in New York City. We talked about some of the details of her journey and what I should expect on this one. Definitely check out her blog if you get a chance. She's an awesome woman.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
About My Peace Pilgrimage
Now is a critical time in human history. We are faced with a global crisis that threatens to drive our species into extinction. It’s only been recently that the governments of our world have admitted that global warming is real and that potentially destructive climate changes loom ahead in the near future, as well as food and water shortages and vast species extinction.
Ethno-botanist Terence McKenna once said, “We have the money, the power, the medical understanding, the scientific know-how, the love and the community to produce a kind of human paradise.” The resources are there. We simply need to agree, as a collective, that it’s time for a change.
In order to do that, we need to stop killing each other.
We are all living on the same planet, and the situation that we’re in is like a ship about to sail over the edge of a waterfall. Instead of working together to steer the ship away from danger, the crew members are murdering each other for control of the helm, and at the same time drilling holes into the bottom of the boat.
*********
(The information in the following paragraph comes from www.peacepilgrim.com)
“From 1953 to 1981, a woman calling herself only “Peace Pilgrim” walked more than 25,000 miles on a personal pilgrimage for peace. She had no material possessions except for what she could carry in her pockets. She vowed to ‘remain a wanderer until mankind has learned the way of peace, walking until given shelter and fasting until given food.’ In the course of her 28-year pilgrimage she touched the hearts, minds, and lives of thousands of individuals all across North America. Her message was both simple and profound. It continues to inspire people all over the world.”
“This is the way of peace,” she said. “Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love.”
Her message has inspired me as well. On Saturday, August 29th, I will be going on a pilgrimage for peace, walking across the United States from Cape Henlopen State Park in Delaware to San Francisco, California.
Like the original Peace Pilgrim, I will wear a blue shirt that reads “PEACE PILGRIM” on the front and “WALKING COAST TO COAST FOR PEACE” on the back. I will be carrying only a toothbrush, a pen, small notepad, cards with my contact information (for correspondence), a map and compass. I am not affiliated with any organization, or religious group, and I will not accept money. I will walk until given shelter and fast until given food.
My goal is to come into contact with as many people as I can and exchange ideas with them about the types of peaceful methods that can be implemented to resolve the conflicts that threaten to rip our world apart. I will also be using this walk as a prayer exercise, to lift up my thoughts toward the Divine and send out my best wishes for the people that I’ve come to know and love, and for planet Earth.
I hope to keep this blog fairly updated, but that will depend on how often I have access to the internet.
If you have any prayer requests, please feel free to write me at peacepilgrim2009@gmail.com.
Ethno-botanist Terence McKenna once said, “We have the money, the power, the medical understanding, the scientific know-how, the love and the community to produce a kind of human paradise.” The resources are there. We simply need to agree, as a collective, that it’s time for a change.
In order to do that, we need to stop killing each other.
We are all living on the same planet, and the situation that we’re in is like a ship about to sail over the edge of a waterfall. Instead of working together to steer the ship away from danger, the crew members are murdering each other for control of the helm, and at the same time drilling holes into the bottom of the boat.
*********
(The information in the following paragraph comes from www.peacepilgrim.com)
“From 1953 to 1981, a woman calling herself only “Peace Pilgrim” walked more than 25,000 miles on a personal pilgrimage for peace. She had no material possessions except for what she could carry in her pockets. She vowed to ‘remain a wanderer until mankind has learned the way of peace, walking until given shelter and fasting until given food.’ In the course of her 28-year pilgrimage she touched the hearts, minds, and lives of thousands of individuals all across North America. Her message was both simple and profound. It continues to inspire people all over the world.”
“This is the way of peace,” she said. “Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love.”
Her message has inspired me as well. On Saturday, August 29th, I will be going on a pilgrimage for peace, walking across the United States from Cape Henlopen State Park in Delaware to San Francisco, California.
Like the original Peace Pilgrim, I will wear a blue shirt that reads “PEACE PILGRIM” on the front and “WALKING COAST TO COAST FOR PEACE” on the back. I will be carrying only a toothbrush, a pen, small notepad, cards with my contact information (for correspondence), a map and compass. I am not affiliated with any organization, or religious group, and I will not accept money. I will walk until given shelter and fast until given food.
My goal is to come into contact with as many people as I can and exchange ideas with them about the types of peaceful methods that can be implemented to resolve the conflicts that threaten to rip our world apart. I will also be using this walk as a prayer exercise, to lift up my thoughts toward the Divine and send out my best wishes for the people that I’ve come to know and love, and for planet Earth.
I hope to keep this blog fairly updated, but that will depend on how often I have access to the internet.
If you have any prayer requests, please feel free to write me at peacepilgrim2009@gmail.com.
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